Cuphead Wiki
Advertisement

(The episode starts at Elder Kettle's cottage as Mugman sighs. Inside, he groans and shivers, laying on the couch sickly)

Elder Kettle: Oh! Sick as a (He begins patting Mugman.) dog. I'm afraid you're going to have to miss out on our errands today.

Mugman: Oh no! Maybe I could just...

(Mugman tries to get up, but he groans in pain and coughs his thermometer out, which shatters)

Cuphead: (gently lays Mugman back down) Easy, buddy.

Elder Kettle: Rest up, now.

(Elder Kettle and Cuphead head to the front door. He puts on a scarf and hat)

Elder Kettle: We'll be back before you know it.

(Elder Kettle and Cuphead leave the house)

Cuphead: Poor Mugman, he loves errands.

Elder Kettle: Errands are pretty great. (He and Cuphead stop walking) Maybe we could save just one errand for Mugman.

Both: Hmm. Nah! (They laugh as they run towards Elder Kettle's truck, and hop in as upbeat bluegrass music plays and drives off. Then they slope jump a slope) Errands! (They continue driving) Whoo! (Meanwhile, Mugman watches them through a window.)

Mugman: Oh, how I love errands.

(Mugman stops looking through the window)

Mugman: But sometimes one must go to extremes (He throws his blanket off) to do the things one (He takes his ice pack off) wishes to do.

(Mugman throws the ice pack away, which crashes into something unknown. Then, cheerful classical music plays as he puts a tea bag into his tea, straightens a pillow, and activates a lamp; sighs)

Mugman: At last, peace and quiet. Now I can finally enjoy my book.

(Cuts to the dream sequence)

Mugman: (narrating) "The majestic pirate ship sailed across the open sea, led by the heart of a mighty hero. A hero so fearlessly bold, clever, and dangerous, (raises the camera to reveal Captain Mugbeard) but also quite handsome. The great Captain Mugbeard.

(Mugbeard pulls his mustache)

Mugman: (narrating) He was a (Mugbeard lets go of his mustache) legendary pirate with a crew of (A Kettle pirate and a Cup pirate fight while the Chalice pirate cheers them on) miscreants."

(As the Cup and Kettle pirates fight, with both of them grunting, Mugbeard interrupts them.)

Mugbeard: Rest up, ye mateys, for tomorrow, we slay the (He raises his sword) dreaded sea beast!

Crew: (raise their weapons) Argh! Slay the beast! Argh!

Mugbeard: Argh!

Crew: Argh!

Mugbeard: Argh!

Crew: Argh!

Mugbeard: Argh!

Crew: Argh!

Mugbeard: (Sleepily) Argh! All right, enough already, go to bed.

(The crew head down deck. Mugbeard touches hos throat)

Mugbeard: Jeez, all that argh-ing is really hard on the throat.

(Mugbeard looks around as mysterious music plays, he then tip toes away, he then pulls down a rope, which makes pulley squeaks, then, a boat goes onto the sea, Mugman then uses the boat to swim away.)

Mugman: (narrating) "Mugbeard dared to slip away that night for a mysterious rendezvous.

(Mugbeard travels through pieces of land)

Mugman: (narrating) Normally he included his crew in all of his exploits. But lately, he had become involved in something (Mugbeard stops near a rope near a piece) they could never understand."

(Mugbeard climbs the rope barely falling when he reached the top, then rumbling happens. A mermaid comes out of the water and love music plays, Mugbeard, looking at the mermaid in love, gets water splashed on him, in which he groans happily)

Mugbeard: Oh sea beast, your eyes are glowing stars. Your voice, a symphony. And your hair... Well, let's face it, your hair is a dead octopus.

Sea beast: Oh, Mugbeard, you are poet. Now kiss me, you fool.

(Love music continues as Mugbeard and the sea beast are about to kiss, but "Pop Goes the Weasel" Plays, causing both of them to stop.)

Mugbeard: (Looking around) What? What is that?

(Mugman freezes as he exits the dream sequence. He grumbles and slams the book close, he then slams the door open and finds an ice cream truck near the cottage. He marches over to it)

Mugman: Excuse me.

(No respond; Jumps up)

Mugman: Excuse me!

(Still no respond)

Mugman: Excuse me!

("Pop Goes the Weasel" stops; nervous)

Mugman: (nervous) Uh, excuse me?

(The Ice Cream Man rises up, then looks at Mugman)

Ice Cream Man: Well, hey there. Would you like to hear the flavor of the day?

Mugman: -Uh, no I--

Ice Cream Man: -It's different every day!

Mugman: No, no. Look, I--

Ice Cream Man: But you don't even know what the flavor of the day is!

Mugman: And I don't care what it is. (Grunts) Look, I know you only bring joy and delicious treats but, uh... (He notices the Ice Cream Man's hat is crooked) Are you aware your hat is on crooked?

Ice Cream Man: (notices) Yep! Just the way I like it! (He tilts his hat and it squeaks. Mugman gives him a angry look) So, now would you like to hear the flavor of the day?

Mugman: No! Listen, your music, would you turn it off, please?

Ice Cream Man: (looks and see his music is off) It is off. (Mugman realizes this)

Mugman: Oh. So it is. Well, in that case, can I get a fudge pop? (He points to the fudge pop option. He waves goodbye to the Ice Cream Man, who drives away while playing "Pop Goes the Weasel".)

(Mugman returns inside while licking his fudge pop. He finishes it and throws it away)

Mugman: Ah!

(He sits down and grunts, then pulls out his book and squeals excitedly)

Mugman: Ok, back to the story.

(Enters the dream sequence, where Mugbeard and the sea beast are about to kiss, but "Pop Goes the Weasel" plays, causing Mugbeard's lips to deflate. Mugman exits the dream sequence)

Mugman: What the...?

(Mugman slams the door open again, then marches towards the Ice Cream Man's truck)

Mugman: Hey! (He bangs the truck, the Ice Cream Man slides up)

Ice Cream Man: Would you like to hear the flavor of the day?

Mugman: No! You were just here!

Ice Cream Man: Oh! I thought you looked familiar. Sorry! (He closes and drives away. Mugman returns to his book)

Mugman: Ah. Now, where were we? (He enters the dream state)

Mugbeard: Ah, burning passion, dead octopus, yadda yadda, yadda.

(The sea beast approaches him)

Mugman: The kiss, the kiss! Let's get to the kiss.

(Love music plays as Mugbeard and the sea beast are about to kiss, but "Pop Goes the Weasel", once again plays, causing Mugbeard to growl in fury. Outside of the dream state, Mugman furiously stomps to the Ice Cream Man's truck; angrily)

Mugman: Excuse me!

Ice Cream Man: (Offscreen) Sorry, we're closed. It's my lunch hour.

(He closes on Mugman's fingers, causing the latter's pupils to turn into "X" and wince. when he manages to free his fingers, he runs to the front of the left side of the truck)

Mugman: Hey! (The Ice Cream Man pulls down a sign saying "Sorry", so Mugman runs to the front of the truck) Hey! (The Ice Cream Man pulls down a sign saying "We're", so Mugman runs to the front of the right side of the truck) Hey! (The Ice Cream Man pulls down a sign saying "Closed" with a smile face. This causes Mugman to growl in rage as his head turns red and his liquid in his head seethes, also furiously stomping the ground)

Ice Cream Man:Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la Flavor of the day, Fa, la, la , la, la, la, la, la Flavor of the day ♪ (He notices his truck roof getting sawed as dramatic music plays, then Mugman falls onto him)

Mugman: Turn off the music and fix (He slams the Ice Cream Man on the floor) that (He slams him again) hat! (He slams him one last time)

Ice Cream Man: But why? I only bring joy and delicious treats! (Mugman holds up a ice cream cone and the Ice Cream Man gasps) Whoa, whoa! Put down the cone, buddy.

Mugman: (angrily) This. Ends. Now! (The Ice Creams whimpers and tries to reach for the sprinkles, when he grabs some, he throws it in Mugman's eyes, causing him to scream) Sprinkles! (falls)

Ice Cream Man: I'm sorry, buddy (Mugman rises, still trying to get the sprinkles out of his eyes), I had to do it. You were acting all crazy. (He smiles before saying the the third sentence) Now, about the flavor of the day. (Mugman snaps. The sprinkles fly out of his red eyes)

Mugman: Stop! (He approaches the Ice Cream Man) I have had it with you flavor of the day! And your (He pokes the Ice Cream Man's nose, and it squeaks) music! And your (He pokes the nose again, and it squeaks) face! And your (He pokes the noise, it squeaks) stupid (He pokes the nose) crooked (He pokes the nose) hat! (The Ice Cream Man gasps, then Mugman points at him) Turn off the music, (He points to the Ice Cream Man's hat) fix that hat, (He points backwards) and get out of here! (He tears form in the Ice Cream Man's hat as he whimpers. Then the truck drives away with "Pop Goes the Weasel plays in minor key) Hmm! (He returns inside, but pauses) Was that too mean? No. Sometimes one must go to extremes to do the things one wishes to do. (He returns to his book and opens it into the dream sequence where Mugbeard is prepared for the kiss)

Mugbeard: Now, how about that kiss, baby?

Sea beast: No. I refuse your kiss.

Mugbeard: But-- But it's in the story. Uh, we're supposed to kiss!

Sea Beast: I cannot be with someone so very cruel to the Ice Cream Man!

Mugbeard: Uh, but... (The sea beast swims past him)

Sea beast: Goodbye, Mugbeard! (She swims away)

Mugbeard: No, no... No! (Mugman exits the dream state and continues screaming "No!" for Mugbeard)

Mugman: I have to apologize to the Ice Cream Man.

(He runs out of the house)

Mugman: Ice Cream Man! Come back!

(He continues follow the route that the Ice Cream Man's truck took)

Mugman: Ice Cream Man!

(Sad music plays as Mugman arrives at a town and stops when first arriving)

Mugman: Ice Cream Man? (He starts running)

Mugman: Ice Cream Man?

(Mugman screeches to a stop)

Mugman: Ice Cream Man?

Mugman: (looks to a lane, but nobody is there; sniffles)

Mugman: Oh, Ice Cream Man.

Mugman: (sobs until he hear "Pop Goes the Weasel"; gasps. He runs to where he heard the music and stops when he reaches a light source, a nearby truck has it's engine humming)

Mugman: Ice Cream Man.

Mugman: (transcripts to the vehicle, which is covered in black, then transcripts back to Mugman)

Mugman: I'm sorry I was so very cruel!

(The vehicle moves up to reveal a turkey, who turns the music off)

Turkey: Sorry, what'd you say? (laughs) I just love ice cream truck music playing at full blast. It's all I listen to.

Mugman: (Looks depressed) Oh. I-- I thought you were my Ice Cream Man.

Turkey: Nope, sorry. (She plays "Pop Goes the Weasel" and drives off to reveal a ice cream truck)

Mugman: (Happily) Ice Cream Man!

(Transcripts to to the Ice Cream Man's truck, then to the Ice Cream Man, who giggles, which turns into laughter, then turns into maniacal laughter)

Ice Cream Man: (gasps; maniacally) I found you!

(He starts the engine then charges at Mugman, who screams and runs away as dramatic music plays and "Pop Goes the Weasel turns to major key. The Ice Cream Man laughs as he chases Mugman)

Mugman: Oh!

(Pants as he runs on a dock but is still chased by the Ice Cream Man, and jumps into the river, but the Ice Cream Man's truck follows, causing Mugman to scream and dives out of the way as the truck dives into the river. Inside the river, Mugman swims away as the truck sinks and "Pop Goes the Weasel" distorts and fades. Mugman then goes out of being underwater and gasps, before swimming away while whimpering. When he reaches land and sits down)

Mugman: It's over.

(The truck jumps out of the water and the music resumes then the Ice Cream Man wipes water off of the window and laughs maniacally. Mugman screams and runs away but the truck chases him to his house as he pants. Eventually, he reaches a end near his fence and groans as the truck stops and he sobs. The Ice Cream Man left foot steps out of the truck and causes a earthquake and Mugman shivers in fear)

Mugman: Please don't hurt me, Ice Cream Man.

Ice Cream Man: Hurt you? (He approaches Mugman and chuckles with dark eyes)

Ice Cream Man: I'm here to (His eyes turn back to normal and he sticks his hand out) thank you! (Mugman takes his hands off his eyes and looks confused)

Mugman: Thank me?

Ice Cream Man: For the inspiration. (He points to his hat) See?

(Transcripts up-close to the Ice Cream Man's hat)

Ice Cream Man: I got a new hat. It's the same as the old one, still at a jaunty angle, (He tilts his hat and it squeaks) but slightly smaller.

(Mugman becomes confused when realizing that the Ice Cream Man chased him to show him his hat)

Mugman: That is why you were chasing me? (Annoyingly) To tell me about your slightly smaller hat?!

(The Ice Cream Mans only response is to scratch his nose, he then notices Mugman's book)

Ice Cream Man: Oh, hey! (He points to the book) I've read that book. (He transcripts to the book then back to the Ice Cream Man) Mugbeard dies in the end.

Mugman: [facepalms, chuckles insanely] That’s a good one! [He stutters and slams the book on the ground] Ha! He…he dies! [He attacks The Ice Cream Man and punches his face, while Elder Kettle and Cuphead get back from their errands] And fix the hat! Fix the hat!

Ice Cream Man: Gee, was it something I said?

Elder Kettle: Well, looks like somebody's feeling better. [He and Cuphead go off as Mugman maniacally attacks the Ice Cream Man.]

Advertisement