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Cuphead: It's not in here.

Mugman: He moved it again.

Cuphead: Nope. Not here.

Mugman: Not under here either.

Cuphead: Bingo!

Mugman: Aw, jeez.

Cuphead: We gotta get these fixed before Elder Kettle wakes up.

Kettle: Boys, have you seen my glasses? Oof! No, no, Kettle. You lost 'em somewhere. Just like you... Oof! ...always do. Oh! There you are. Okay, boys. Listen. Stay put. I'll find 'em. Last thing I need is you two stepping on 'em. Got it? Wow. You're actually listening for once. Thank you, boys. Ow!

Clerk: Let me get this straight. You mean to tell me you two couldn't get a cookie jar from a sleeping old man?

Cuphead: Look, lady, can you fix 'em or not?

Clerk: Of course. But I don't like your tone. Hmph! Kindly turn that down. I hate music!

Both: We're not playing music.

[Music]

Ms. Chalice: When you're blue and feeling down,

You gotta spread that sunshine all around,

You gotta turn that frown, upside down,

And sail across a rainbow!

When the world is saying "no",

Don't waste your time, feelin' low.

Click your heels, go, go, go, and dance across a rain-bow!

Cuphead: What the heck was that?!

Honeybee officer: Hey! Get back here! You seen a chalice run past here? Oops. Uh, sorry. Uh...

Hippo: Tickets. That's not a ticket.

Hot Dog: How about now?

Mugman: How does she get people to just give her stuff?

Cuphead: She could definitely help us get Elder Kettle's cookies.

People: Shh!

Mugman: Sorry.

Cuphead: Hey, where'd she go?

Mugman: I don't know.

Cuphead: It's like she just disappeared.

Chalice: All right, who are you two working for?

Cuphead: Working? We don't have jobs.

Mugman: Yeah. We're just a couple of dum-dums.

Cuphead: Zip it, ding-dong. She don't gotta know we're dum-dums.

Chalice: Why are you following me? Spill the beans or you'll be spilling milk!

Cuphead: We just wanna learn how you get so much free stuff.

Mugman: And maybe hang out? That's all, Ms...

Chalice: The name's Chalice. Ms. Chalice. But listen you don't wanna get mixed up with a gal like me. This chalice is nothing but trouble.

Cuphead: We love trouble!

Mugman: We do?

Cuphead: Yeah. Why, just this morning, we decided to steal cookies from our elderly caretaker.

Mugman: When you put it like that, I suppose we do love trouble.

Chalice: Oh, brother. Looks like I got a couple of real degenerates on my hands.

Cuphead: Yup. Degenerates.

Mugman: We didn't actually get the cookies though.

Cuphead: Hey!

Mugman: What? We need her help. We might as well be honest.

Chalice: One thing you gotta know about me, I get by without partners, friends, anyone or anything. This is a solo act. A one-person show.

Both: Aw!

Chalice: But your pathetic story charms me. Wanna know how I do what I do?

Both: Yeah!

Chalice: You really wanna know?

Both: Uh-huh! Uh-huh!

Chalice: Okay, then. Pay attention.

[Music]

Chalice: You gotta slap on a smile,

Throw in some pep!

And be sure to put a spring in your step,

'Cause you can get anything by turning up the charm.

You gotta kick up your heels,

Hands in the sky,

And don't forget the little glint in your eye,

'Cause you can get what you want if you follow this simple rule!

And if you're charming enough, they'll give you free stuff,

And they'll all do what you say.

And since no one's the wiser,

You can have it your way.

With the wink of an eye,

And the flick of a wrist,

Hey, I think you're really gettin' the gist!

'Bout how I charm the pants of this here town!

(Tap dancing)

I think you're getting the hang of this,

But here's one final tip:

Before they can get wise to you,

Give them the slip!

Gotta slap on a smile,

Throw in some pep,

So please remember to never forget,

You can get anything by turning up the charm!

Chalice, Cuphead, and Mugman: You can get anything by turning up the charm!

Mugman: What a day.

Cuphead: You said it.

Chalice: I gotta admit, I don't usually stick around in one place this long. But you two are kinda fun. Ready for your test?

Both: Test?!

Chalice: Come on. You two are naturals! It's gonna be a breeze. All you gotta do is charm your way past that guy. Get inside and there's a surprise.

Both: Surprise? We love surprises!

Cuphead: Hey, it worked!

Mugman: We are charming.

Chalice: Great job, boys. Now here's your surprise!

Mugman: Is this a...

Boys: Cookie factory!

Chalice: That's right. And it's all-you-can-eat. Gee, what a couple of ding-dongs. Cheese it, boys! The cops!

Both: Cops?!

Cop: This is the police! We have you surrounded!

Chalice: Come on! Get up! We gotta scram! Sorry, boys. I like ya, but not enough to tangle with the cops. So long, fellas.

Mugman: My mug.

Cuphead: Oh, what happened? Where's Chalice?

Cop: You're under arrest!

[both scream]

[unconvincing humming]

[breathing heavily]

Both: Whoa!

[both grunt]

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