Cuphead Wiki

[At home, Cuphead wears a blindfold on his forehead.]

Cuphead: Prepare to have your face rearranged, pal. [He pulls the blindfold over his eyes.]

Mugman: You're messing with the wrong mug, buddy. [He pulls his own blindfold down.]

Cuphead: [holding up a pillow and fluffing it] Three...

Mugman: [fluffing his pillow] Two...

Cuphead: One, go!

[Yelling, the boys run past each other and swing their pillows wildly. Outside, Elder Kettle waters the garden. Inside, Mugman twirls as Cuphead smacks the floor. Something is heard smashing.]

Both: Uh-oh.

Mugman: What was that? [He and Cuphead remove their blindfolds. Cuphead sees the back of Mugman's head.]

Cuphead: Ooh!

Mugman: What is it?

[Mugman's broken handle is seen lying on the floor.]

Cuphead: [sweating profusely] Uh... Nothing, at all. Nothing. Why? What? Why?

Mugman: [giving Cuphead a suspicious glare] Oh, it's something. [He faces the mirror] Hmm... [He buffs a tooth, then checks his nose. He notices the broken remains of the back of his head, then slowly turns around to see his handle on the floor. He touches his head, then screams. As he runs around, Cuphead picks up the handle.]

Cuphead: Can you feel this? [He pokes the handle, then tickles it. Mugman laughs.]

Mugman: Hey! Give me that! [He snatches his handle and splutters.]

Cuphead: Buddy, relax. We'll handle it. [Mugman glares] I mean, take care of it. [He licks the handle, then twirls Mugman around] Easy as pie. [He sticks it back onto Mugman's head] See?

[Mugman swoons, delighted. Unfortunately, it doesn't last long and the handle falls off, chipping more small porcelain fragments.]

Mugman: Boy, that never gets easier.

Cuphead: Don't worry just yet. [He gets out a roll of scotch tape, and tapes the handle to Mugman's head.]

Mugman: How do I look?

Cuphead: Good as new.

[The handle falls. Mugman yells, tape still on his face. Cuphead ponders what to do. He gets an idea, then runs out of the house and returns with a honey-filled beehive. He waves a few bees away, then dips the handle into the honey and sticks it back on.]

Cuphead: And voilà!

Mugman: Thanks, Cuphead.

[As the boys shake hands, a liquid drips into Cuphead's head. A black bear looms over the boys. It chases them around the room. It beats them up offscreen. It walks out of the house with the beehive under its arm. The battered brothers lie on the floor.]

Cuphead: If only there were some substance that could stick one item to another that didn't attract bears. [Mugman rolls onto his front and sobs.] Hold on there, Mugsy. This ain't over till we say it's over.

Mugman: [lying in a pool of tears and looking over at Cuphead] It's over.

Cuphead: Aw! You're getting worked up over nothing.

Mugman: [getting angry] Oh, really? Why don't we snap off your handle too then? [He swipes at Cuphead.]

Cuphead: NO! I mean, no?

Mugman: [sighing] What if it never sticks back on? A mug without a handle is just a bowl! I'm a mug! I'm Mugman, not Bowlboy! I don't wanna be Bowlboy! I never shoulda let you talk me into this!

Cuphead: What?! You were the one begging for a blindfolded pillow fight.

Mugman: This is hardly the time to point fingers, Cuphead!

Cuphead: Well, don't get mad at me!

Mugman: Well, don't get mad at me!

Cuphead: I'm the one racking my brain trying to remember what glue is! Hey! That's right!

Both: Glue is glue!

Cuphead: Here we go. [He opens a drawer and finds a tube of glue, which is stuck to a mass of objects. He tries to pry it free.] Oh, boy.

Mugman: [lying on the floor, downhearted] I'm never gonna fix my handle. Maybe I am Bowlboy.

Cuphead: Aw, this ain't nothing. We can just get some new glue from Porkrind's.

Mugman: But I can't go out looking like this.

Cuphead: No one's even gonna notice.

[Elder Kettle sees Mugman and screams. He dashes off. Mugman scowls at Cuphead, who laughs nervously.]

[Later, Cuphead is outside.]

Cuphead: Mugs, I get that you don't wanna be seen, but why do I gotta do stuff?

[Mugman is walking along the road in front of Cuphead, dressed as a bride, complete with lipstick and heeled slippers.]

Mugman: [lifting his veil] Just pipe down and scatter those flower petals. [As he and Cuphead pass a bus stop, Cuphead skips in front of his brother and scatters flower petals. The onlookers gush over Mugman. A gust of wind tears his dress, veil and fake eyelashes off.]

Toon 1: Broken handle!

Toon 2: It's hideous!

[They flee. Mugman sighs.]

Bowlboy: Well, I think he looks swell!

Mugman: Nobody asked you, Bowlboy!

[Mugman stalks off, with Cuphead following behind.]

Bowlboy: Gee, what's eatin' him?

[At the store, Porkrind sits at the counter, eyeing the radio.]

Announcer: It's Frenchy's Dream and Granny's Whiskers! It's Frenchy's Dream! It's Granny's Whiskers! It's Frenchy's Dream... Oh, no! Granny's Whiskers wins by a hair!

[He turns off the radio.]

Porkrind: Granny's Whiskers... [He hears the door opening.]

Cuphead: Knock-knock!

Mugman: [throwing the door wide open] Porkrind! We've got a problem!

Porkrind: Do you now?

Cuphead: We need a tube of glue bad.

Mugman: Real bad.

Porkrind: Gonna be real expensive then.

Mugman: We'll pay anything, Porkrind!

Porkrind: Well, la-di-da. Somebody knows the magic words. So, what are we gluing?

[Mugman presents his broken handle. Porkrind gags]

Mugman: Of course! He's disgusted by my disembodied handle.

Porkrind: [swallowing] Nah. I don't care about you or your handle. I just ate a rank fish sandwich. Yep. Anyway, I'll sell you the glue. Be back in a jiff. [He goes to the back of the store.]

Cuphead: You see, Mugman? Nothing to worry about. That handle will be back on in no time. [He eyes a pot lid.] That is, if you even want it back. Maybe it's time for a little change.

Mugman: Change?

Cuphead: [tying an apron around his brother and putting him on a stool] Think about it! You could have any handle you want, Mugsy. [He spins him to a mirror.] How about this one? [He tries an ornate gold handle on Mugman.]

Mugman: Nah. Too fancy. [A wrench.] Too industrial. [Chattering teeth.] Uh, too "shticky." [A bicycle handle with a bell.] No. [A candlestick with a lit candle.] No. [A horseshoe.] No. [A horn.] Nah. [A magnet.] Nope. [A flush which drains Mugman's head.] Hmm... Nah. [A telephone reciever.] Nope. [A boomerang.] No. [A saxophone.] No. [A rattlesnake.] No! [A half-donut.] Maybe... No. [Cuphead eats the donut.] Listen, Cuphead, I don't want any of these other handles. I just wanna be me again.

Cuphead: Ah, yes. The old classic. We'll stick with the original.

Mugman: Right!

Porkrind: Wrong. I'm outta glue. I get the next shipment in three months. [He turns on the radio and listens to the races]

Mugman: Three months?!

[Later, Mugman trudges home and sulks on the couch.]

Cuphead: Aw, come on, Mugsy. Three months will go by like that. You can still go outside. People just need to get used to it.

Mugman: [peeking out from under a blanket] Really?

Cuphead: WAAAAAAAAAHHH!! Sorry. I'm still getting used to it.

[Mugman frowns and pulls the blanket back over himself.]

Elder Kettle: Uh, Mugman? Oh, there you are, boy. Excuse us for a moment, Cuphead.

Cuphead: Of course. I'll leave you two alone.

[Elder Kettle lifts Cuphead and puts him to one side, then sits on the couch with Mugman.]

Elder Kettle: Mugman, I'm sorry I screamed in horror at the mere sight of you, but it just took me by surprise. [Mugman peeks out from under the blanket at Elder Kettle. Only his eyes and his nose are visible.] Oh, but gosh, you boys are just growing up so fast. Your bodies are going through changes. [Surprised, Mugman peeks further out.] I should've known. It's about time your baby handles fell off.

[Mugman jumps off.]

Mugman: Baby handle?

Cuphead: [from behind the couch] Baby handle?!

Elder Kettle: Why, yes. Your baby handles. I still remember the day I lost my baby handle. Back when I was but a wee little kettle. [In a flashback, a young Kettle brushes his tooth.] I was in the middle of brushing my tiny little toothie, when to my surprise, it happened. [The young Kettle's handle breaks off.] Darn it, if my baby handle didn't just pop right off! Like all good boys, I knew that when your baby handle falls off, why, that means you're getting a visit from the Handle Fairy! So, I put my baby handle under my pillow and waited. [At night, the young Kettle lies in bed. A bright light shines through a window and a fairy flies in. Later, a smiling sun shines out the window and crows like a rooster. Kettle finds the handle missing from under his pillow.] In the morning, I ran over to my bedroom mirror, and there it was. My shiny, new... man handle. [He eyes his longer new handle and beams. In the present, Elder Kettle finishes his story, standing in the middle of the room.] Ah, youth.

Mugman: Woohoo! Boy! Hear that, Cuphead? I'm getting a man handle!

Cuphead: Hey! I want a man handle!

[He breaks his handle against a wall.]

Elder Kettle: Well, I guess that saves the Handle Fairy a trip.

[All laugh. Later, the boys stash their handles under their pillows and go to sleep. Night passes, and morning breaks. Now sporting handles, the boys run downstairs, yelling excitedly.]

Both: Elder Kettle! Elder Kettle!

[Elder Kettle stands in front of a broom closet, where a fairy costume is seen on a coat hanger.]

Elder Kettle: Oh, uh...

Mugman: The Handle Fairy came!

Cuphead: Get a load of these man handles!

[As Elder Kettle faces the boys, he's seen holding a tube of glue behind his back.]

Kettle: [tossing the glue into the closet and shutting the door] Oh! Looks like he... Uh, I mean, she did a great job.

Mugman: To our man handles!

Both: Cheers! [They toast with their heads, which shatter.]