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Mugman: Zombies are not as scary as I thought they'd be.

Cuphead: I'm proud of ya. You only needed to change your pants three times.

Mugman: A new record.

Cuphead: Oh! It's late. To make it home before dark, we better take a shortcut through the creepy cemetery.

Mugman: Nothing scary about that. Not to a record-breaker like me.

Cuphead: Attaboy, Mugsy.

Mugman: Sure is a lot of tombstones.

Cuphead: Uh-huh.

Mugman: Really starting to get dark now. Some might find that unsettling, but not me.

Cuphead: Good thing we're so brave.

Mugman: I can't think of a time I've been less scared.

Cuphead: Nothing scary about a graveyard.

Mugman: Just a yard.

Cuphead: For playing.

Mugman: We have a yard.

Cuphead: We should vacation here.

Mugman: Live here!

Cuphead: I never wanna leave!

Jasper: Well, I know what we're doing tonight.

Emma: Things just got a lot more interesting.

Duke: Go fish!

Mugman: Did you see that? It slammed shut outta nowhere!

Cuphead: Okay. Let's get a grip on ourselves. That was probably the wind.

Mugman: Wind? What wind? I didn't feel any wind. No wind. Oh, no, no, no! It won't budge! We're trapped!

Cuphead: Relax. It just needs a little elbow grease. Hm, stuck pretty good.

Mugman: What are we gonna do?!

Cuphead: First, we're gonna calm down.

Mugman: But what about g-g-ghosts?

Cuphead: Ah, banana oil! Ghosts ain't real!

Jasper: You hear that? We ain't real.

Duke: We ain't?

Emma: Shh!

Cuphead: Looks like we're stuck. Eh. Someone will open it in the morning. Till then, we'll spend the night and make the best of it.

Mugman: S-s-spend the night? But what about the ghosts? I don't like this, Cuphead. I'm allergic to dead people.

Cuphead: For the last time, Mugsy. Ghosts ain't real! Now you clear a spot, and I'm gonna get some firewood.

Mugman: We're separating?

Cuphead: Well, do you wanna come with me into the deep, dark woods?

Mugman: Is there a third, less terrifying option?

Cuphead: Look, don't worry. It'll be just like the movie. You think you're gonna be scared, but then it won't be so bad. 'Cause why?

Mugman: 'Cause I'm a big, strong man?

Cuphead: Well, sure. But also because ghosts ain't real.

Mugman: They better not be. I'm all outta spare pants.

Cuphead: Just relax. I'll be back before you know it. That was an owl.

Cuphead: Typical Mugman. Always getting himself worked up over nothing. What was that? Who's there?

Duke: Hello.

Cuphead: WAAAAAAHHHH!!

Mugman: Fireflies, Cuphead was right. Ghosts ain't real. You know, it's actually kinda peaceful out here. Just the sounds of the wind, the owl, the...

Jasper: Disembodied voice behind you.

Mugman: Real cute, Cuphead. Ha, ha, ha. Hilarious. I know you're trying to scare me, but I'm not falling for your... tricks. Not funny, Cuphead.

Jasper: I thought it was right funny. But I ain't never heard of no Cuphead.

(Mugman slowly turns around.)

Jasper: Top of the evening, love.

Mugman: Cuphead! Cuphead! Cuphead!

Cuphead: Mugman, I don't wanna alarm you, but I think I saw a...

Mugman: Ghosts!

Jasper: Don't believe what you heard 'Cause here is the deal

Emma: There is no need to panic 'cause

Jasper, Duke and Emma: Ghosts ain't real!

Cuphead and Mugman: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!

Jasper: I don't believe in ghosts

Emma: They don't give me a fright

Duke: I don't believe in anything That bumpity-bumps in the night!

Jasper: If you see things That you can't explain

Emma: Best to ignore them

Duke: Or go insane!

Tombstones: Whoo-oo-oo!

Mugman: You said they ain't real! They seem pretty real!

Evil Tree/Bats: Whoo-oo-oo!

Cuphead: Listen, Mugman, we're caught in a jam! Pipe down 'cause we gotta scram!

Jasper, Emma and Duke: I don't believe in ghosts They don't give me a fright I don't believe in anything That bumpity-bumps in the night I don't believe in spooks But when I'm all alone I've heard mysterious things That bang and clang and--

Cuphead: I know it's scary, Mugsy, but you gotta stop chattering your teeth.

Mugman: My teeth aren't chattering.

Mugman: We gotta find a way out!

Emma: Here's the way out.

Jasper: Here. Try this one.

Duke: Over here. Over here.

Jasper: Here.

Cuphead and Mugman: No!

Emma: Here.

Cuphead and Mugman: No!

Duke: Here.

Cuphead and Mugman: No! No more doors!

Jasper: Now do you believe in...

Duke: Boo!

Jasper: Knock it off. We got a real problem here.

Emma: One minute, we're all having fun. The next minute, two cups are dead.

Duke: Oh, them poor little cups.

Jasper: Shall we say a few words then? Huh? They're gone!

Mugman: Come on! Come on!

Cuphead: We made it.

Mugman: Safe at last.

Cuphead and Mugman: Phew!

Kettle: AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!! HIDEOUS ZOMBIES!!!!!!!

Cuphead and Mugman: AAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

Kettle: DIE ZOMBIE DIE! DIE ZOMBIE DIE!

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