Elder Kettle Leaves for his Mustache Wax[]
[The episode opens on the cottage, seemingly peaceful until Elder Kettle can be heard screaming alongside electricity spiking in the backyard. Cuphead and Mugman enter the cottage, laughing.]
Mugman: Hooking up the car battery to Elder Kettle's steering wheel was your best idea yet!
Cuphead: I do love a good prank!
[The boys continue laughing as Elder Kettle, burnt and scuffed, enters the room.]
Elder Kettle: Well, it looks like you got me again, boys! [squashes the flame on his mustache] I'd be upset if it wasn't keeping you from fighting eachother all day. Oh! If you two aren't fighting, that means I can get my mustache wax! [grabs scarf and hat] See you at dinner, boys! [shuts door]
The Horrifying Discovery[]
Cuphead: He bought it! He really thinks we ain't fighting! Nice work! [punches Mugman's arm]
Mugman: Ow! Thanks! [punches Cuphead back] But we're not fighting.
Cuphead: Oh, right! [punches Mugman again]
Mugman: Ow! Nice punch! [punches Cuphead]
Cuphead: Thank you! [punches, more aggressively this time]
Mugman: You're welcome! [punches back, angrily]
[The boys continue to throw punches at eachother, which eventually escalates into a fight cloud. It is stopped when someone knocks on the door.]
Cuphead: [pushes Mugman] I'll get it!
Mugman: No, I'll get it!
[Mugman pushes Cuphead back, running ahead. Cuphead grabs and pulls the rug to stop Mugman, giving him a chance to run to the door. However, Mugman shoves him away, opening the door.]
Mugman: Hello.
[Mugman looks down and immediately starts wheezing. He slams the door behind him.]
Cuphead: Who is it?
[Mugman continues wheezing, much to Cuphead's annoyance.]
Cuphead: Get out of the way. [pushes Mugman aside, looking through the peephole] All I see is a ba... [gasps] It can't be... It's...
Cuphead & Mugman: BABY BOTTLE!
[The two retreat into the closet.]
Mugman: Why is it back?!
Cuphead: What does it want?!
Mugman: WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?! Don't you remember what happened last time?
[A bubble appears overhead; A supposedly calm Baby Bottle is seen sucking on its pacifier, until it turns to the camera, making the same onimous face.]
Baby Bottle: [angrily] Mama.
[The bubble disappears, and the brothers whimper and shake in fear. Then, Cuphead gets an idea.]
The Idea[]
Cuphead: Wait! I got it! [turns on the light] It can't hurt us if we don't let it in. We just won't answer the door!
Mugman: ...I guess that does make sense.
Cuphead: See? Problem solved.
[Cuphead and Mugman are playing what seems to be checkers; Mugman places down one of his pieces.]
Mugman: King me.
[Cuphead places down a piece, stuck. Mugman chuckles smugly. Cuphead is stuck on where to make his move.]
Cuphead: Hmm... [looks at one piece] Ehh? Eh, no. Ehh? Eh, no.
[Cuphead continues doing this with the same piece, which quickly bores Mugman. While waiting, he looks towards the door, in which the door has a intimidating demeanor, much to Mugmans fear. He looks back at Cuphead, who is still deciding whether he should go or not. We continue to snap back between the two sitiuations, Mugman growing impatient to the point where he snaps.]
Mugman: WILL YOU JUST GO ALREADY?!
[Finally, Cuphead makes a move. However, moves his piece more times than he should, leading him to victory.]
Cuphead: I win.
[Mugman throws the table, screaming; afterwards, he pouts and crosses his arms. Just then, clawing is heard, alarming Mugman and causing him to jump behind the chair]
Mugman: It's scratching at the door! IT'S TRYING TO GET IN!
Cuphead: [grabs Mugman by the nose] It can't hurt us if we don't answer the door, remember?
Mugman: But—
Cuphead: Ah, bu-bu-bu...
Mugman: But—
Cuphead: Ignore it.
Mugman: But—
Cuphead: There's nothing to worry about. [walks to door] Look, I'll show you.
Mugman: Wait, Cuphead, no!
Cuphead: See? I'm not answering the door and I'm completely safe. [dancing] ♪ La-la-la-la-la-la-la— ♪
[Growling from beyond the door can be heard, scaring Cuphead; he screams and runs away. Mugman struggles to open the closet door, but Cuphead pushes him aside and enters. He pulls Mugman in soon after.]
Cuphead: Did you hear THAT?!
Mugman: Baby Bottle sounds bigger and scarier! HOW DID IT GET BIGGER AND SCARIER?!
Cuphead: How should I know?! Everything around here is always trying to steal our souls, transform into monsters, or try to eat us, or shoot bullets out of their fingertips!
Mugman: I've never seen fingertip bullets.
Cuphead: Oh-ho-ho, it's happening somewhere! Believe you me!
Mugman: Shh... I don't hear anything.
[The boys peek outside the closet and begin to tiptoe towards the door. Cuphead looks through the peephole. Through the hole, a nose can be seen sniffing the door, then a mouth breathing on the peephole—which is then revealed to be a bear.]
Cuphead: Ohh... It's just a bear.
Mugman: Oh, just a bear. [chuckles for a moment, then realizes]
Cuphead & Mugman: A BEAR?!
[The two look back into the peephole, only to see that the bear has grabbed the basket, and is walking away]
Cuphead and Mugman: IT'S GOT BABY BOTTLE!
[The two turn away in dismay: except Cuphead seems to be relieved]
Cuphead: Well, that solves that problem! [walks off, but is pulled back by Mugman]
Mugman: [appalled] Cuphead! Baby Bottle is a monster, but we can't let it get eaten by a bear!
[Cuphead then feels guilty. Facepalming, he unwillingly agrees]
Cuphead: [sighs, annoyed] And they say I'm the obnoxious one.
The Search[]
[Cuphead opens the door, swinging the bat in his hand frantically. He peeks out, exiting the cottage. Mugman anxiously peeks out as well, armed with a frying pan, hesitant to leave–once he sees that Cuphead is gone however, he follows. Soon enough, they're in the woods.]
Cuphead: [calling] Baby Bottle!
Mugman: [also calling] Baby Bottle!
Cuphead: Baby Bottle!
Mugman: Baby Bottle!
[Baby Bottle wasn't anywhere to be found; the two look around.]
Mugman: ...I hate to say it, but I think we should split up.
Cuphead: Great idea! Things always go better when we split up!
[So they do, continuing to call out]
Cuphead: Baby Bottle!
Mugman: Baby Bottle!
[The two eventually get far from eachother; Cuphead is looking around, holding the bat tightly]
Cuphead: [anxious] Little Baby Bottle!
[Not noticing, his shirt gets caught on a bush branch, Cuphead being far enough from the bush for the branch to retract adruptly, startling him. He begins to frantically beat the bush until its leaves fall off; only then does he realize what it is.]
Cuphead: Oh. [chuckles]
[With little leaves it has left, the bush slaps Cuphead, leaving a red mark on his face. It pulls itself back together.]
[Mugman is looking around elsewhere, holding his weapon close to him. He is frightened when a sudden snap goes off]
Mugman: AAH! BEAR!
[He sees nothing and continues walking down the path until he hears something else, swinging his weapon in that direction. Once again, he sees nothing. He continues walking]
Mugman: ...Baby Bottle?
[Mugman eventually hears a buzzing sound behind him, prompting him to scream and raise his weapon. He opens his eyes to see a bee.]
Mugman: Awh! It's just a little bumblebee! [The bee lands on his nose...] Hey, little fella. [and stings it] YEEEEOWWWWCH!
[He attempts to squash the insect with the frying pan, but the bee flies off just in time. Mugman ends up hitting himself in the face, leading him to collapse.]
The Empty Basket[]
[The two brothers reunite, unknowingly. They back up into eachother, Cuphead rubbing his chin and lowering his bat–hitting Mugman.]
Mugman: Ow!
[Cuphead turns around, his bat swings Mugman to the ground.]
Cuphead: What are you doing down there?
Mugman: [getting up] Would you be more careful? [whacks him with frying pan]
Cuphead: You be more careful! [strikes back]
Mugman: Why you...
[The two raise their weapons, about to fight, until Cuphead notices something.]
Cuphead: Mugman, look! [He points to Baby Bottle's basket]
Cuphead & Mugman: Baby Bottle!
[They remove the blanket to see that the basket is empty]
Cuphead: He's gone.
[Mugman freezes in horror, looking at something]
Mugman: C–c–Cuphead... look... [points]
[Cuphead gasps; A trail of milk drags across the ground, leading to a shrub.]
Cuphead: ...T-There's a trail of milk leading to that bush!
[The two look at each other hesitantly. Then, pick up their weapons and slowly creep towards the bush. A sudden movement of the bush startles them, as a dark hairy figure comes out. It then appears to be the bear; mouth covered in milk. It roars at them. Once done, milk pours out of Cuphead and Mugman's straws as they scream and retreat back to the cottage.]
The Reveal[]
Elder Kettle: [admiring himself in the mirror, with a fixed mustache] Looking good, Kettle! You old rascal, you!
[The boys run in, yammering with tears in their eyes trying to explain to Elder Kettle what had happened]
Elder Kettle: Woah, woah, boys! What happened, what's wrong?
Cuphead: [frantic] We were in the woods!
Mugman: [also frantic] We tried to save it!
Cuphead: Milk was everywhere!
Both: [crying] THE BEAR ATE BABY BOTTLE!
[Elder Kettle gasps, surprised for a moment. Then bursts into a laughing fit; the boys look at each other, confused.]
Elder Kettle: Boys, that wasn't Baby Bottle!
Cuphead & Mugman: Huh?
Elder Kettle: That was a regualr bottle of milk wrapped in a blanket! I put in a baby basket, as payback for hooking me up to that car battery. And you fell for it!
[He continues laughing, and the boys are appalled. That is, until the door starts knocking]
Elder Kettle: IT'S BABY BOTTLE!
[He and Cuphead scream and run; they hide beneath a table.]
Mugman: Don't be ridiculous! You just explained that Baby Bottle was never really here!
Elder Kettle: Oh, right.
Cuphead: Then who's at the door?
[Mugman looks through the peephole]
Mugman: Oh! [turns away] It's just the bear again.
Kettle and Cuphead: Ohh!
[The three then realize]
All: THE BEAR?!
[The three start screaming and hugging each other. Then, the bear opens the door.]
Bear: Alright, alright. I'm sorry about scaring you and drinking your milk. But guys, I'm a bear! Don't leave your milk sitting out.
Kettle, Mugman, and Cuphead: Yeah, that's true. Fair point; don't leave the milk out.
Bear: Nothin' I can do about the milk at this point. But, uh. I thought I'd return your basket. [hands the basket over]
Elder Kettle: [takes basket] Well, uhm. Thank you, Mr. Bear.
[Once more, knocking is heard on the door again.]
All: AAAHH! IT'S BABY BOTTLE!
Bear: Wait... who's Baby Bottle?
Cuphead: Uhh, why don't you open the door and find out?
Bear: Alright. [opens door] Ooh! Another basket, with another delicious bottle of milk!
[As the bears goes outside, Cuphead, Mugman, and Kettle all exchange worried looks and held on to each other close]
Baby Bottle: Mama?
Bear: [gasps] Awwh! What a cute—
[Baby Bottle starts attacking the bear, a fight cloud forming outside the cottage. The bear manages to escape, for a moment]
Bear: HELP ME! [gets pulled back in]
[Elder Kettle closes and locks the door.]
Elder Kettle: Well, it looks we bear-ly got out of that one!
[The three all laugh, the screen irising out on each of them–ultimately ending the episode.]