[The episode begins with a shot of a dock with boats parked at the side. Cuphead and Mugman are walking on it.]
Mugman: What're we doing at the dock?
Cuphead: Oh, you'll see.
[As they walk through the dock, Mugman notices several ship owners working at their ships as he eats his candy apple.]
Cuphead: Tell me, Mugsy, you ever wish you were a pirate?
[They dodge a box being thrown across the bridge and walk over a dead shark.]
Mugman: You know very well I do.
[They stop at a red ship.]
Cuphead: Well, all your swashbuckling dreams are about to come true, 'cause we're gonna have a high seas adventure!
[The camera zooms out to show the red ship which is significantly smaller than the others.]
Mugman: We don't know the first thing about sailing. We could end up dead.
[Cuphead snatches Mugman's candied apple.]
Cuphead: That, my little [honks Mugman's nose with the candy apple] blue nosed friend, is why it's called an adventure!
[A seagull grabs Mugman's candied apple and flies away with it.]
Mugman: Ooh, my candied apple!
Cuphead: Adventure!
[Cuphead starts climbing aboard the ship but Mugman stops him.]
Mugman: Wait. Wait. Wait wait wait, You can't just climb aboard someone's ship. You need permission first!
Cuphead: Only if the ship's painted red.
Mugman: The ship is painted red!
Cuphead: I wasn't finished. Painted red-purp-orange!
Mugman: [Angrily] Red-purp-orange isn't even a color!
Cuphead: So we're good then!
[Cuphead continues to climb on but Mugman stays put.]
Mugman: I refuse to board without permission.
Cuphead: Suit'cha self! Wow, so amazing! Mugman, you gotta see this!
Mugman: [Angrily] Not without permission!
Cuphead: Oh, look at this! I can't believe it!
[Mugman tries to resist himself.]
Cuphead: [Laughs] And one of these? I've always wanted one of these! Holy Toledo! Is that...? Mugman, you're missin' out! YOU could be havin' a high sea's adventure right now!
Mugman: [Enraged] Don't you think I want that!? I NEED PERMISSION!!!
Cuphead: Well then, permission to come aboard!
Mugman: Yaaay! Haha.
[Mugman quickly climbs up the rope. As he reaches the top, he rolls with effort onto the boat. He stands up and takes a look.]
Mugman: Wow!
[A sea shanty plays as the camera zooms out to show the boat. Cuphead is seen standing with a smile.]
Mugman: Where are all the pirates?
Cuphead: I guess they left. And they left all their stuff. Look what I found.
[Cuphead takes his arms out from behind his back to show two pirate swords which wobbled in his hands and damaged the flooring.]
Cuphead: Catch!
[The sword lands in a barrel next to Mugman. Mugman pulls it out which causes the barrel to leak. Mugman whimpers as the sword wobbles in his hands. Like Cuphead, Mugman also caused his sword to go through the floor. The boys then played with their swords in a sword fight. As they run around damaging parts of the ship, Cuphead accidentally cuts the rope of the boat which was connected to the dock causing it to slowly start moving. As Cuphead dodges Mugman's sword, Mugman cuts another rope which lets the sail down which will really get the boat moving. The boys run over to the lookout tower.]
Cuphead: I call lookout!
Mugman: No. Me!
[Cuphead and Mugman clamber up the rope and fall into the tower itself.]
Mugman: Whoa.
[Adventurous music plays in the background as a camera zoom out shows the ocean from the ship.]
Mugman: Look at all that ocean. Makes you feel like a real pirate.
Cuphead: [looking back at the shore] Huh. The shore keeps getting smaller.
Mugman: Hmm? Oh yeah. And the ocean keeps getting bigger. Oh no! We're out at sea!
[As Mugman says "Sea!" three camera zoom outs show how big the sea is.]
Mugman: [echoing] Sea! Sea! Sea!
[As Mugman grabs the wooden flagpole, he screams.]
Mugman: I'm not a real pirate. I'm a fake pirate.
[As Mugman sobs, Cuphead walks on excited.]
Cuphead: Now this is a high seas adventure.
[Cuphead looks out of the lookout tower.]
Cuphead: [as a pirate] Anchors aweigh! Hard to starboard! Ready the gangplank!
[Mugman pops up but then the waves start getting choppier.]
Cuphead: Whoa!
[Dramatic music plays as the boat sails on the mighty waves.]
both: Whoa!
[Cuphead and Mugman fall out of the lookout tower and onto the boat. They groan for a second and then get up as they hear a man yawning in another room of the boat.]
[The man kicks the door open with his foot who is revealed to be a pirate. Cuphead and Mugman look at each other in shock. A parrot flies by the pirate who is then grabbed and placed on the pirate's shoulder. The pirate walked over onto the boat by Cuphead and Mugman who are next to a mug that reads: "#1 Captain". The pirate tries to reach the mug but ends up grabbing Cuphead's head.]
[He takes out a handful of coffee beans and grounds them to dust, letting or simmer into the milk in Cuphead's head. The pirate slurps the milk inside Cuphead's head, but his eyes widen at the weight of the coffee. He holds up the cup and notices Cuphead's face. Cuphead chuckles nervously and then is dropped as the pirate spits out the coffee he just drank.]
[Cuphead's head lands on his body and then Cuphead twists it round. The pirate stomps towards the boys.]
Brineybeard: Who dares stow away on the ship of Captain Brineybeard?
Cuphead and Mugman: [grabs each of Brineybeard's legs] Yay!
Mugman: A real, real pirate!
Cuphead: You can take us on a high seas adventure!
Mugman: Adventure? We're going home!
Cuphead: No way! High seas adventure!
Mugman: Home.
Cuphead: Adventure!
Mugman: Home!
Cuphead: Adventure!
Mugman: Home!
Cuphead: Adventure!
Mugman: Home!
Cuphead: Adventure!
Mugman: Home!
Cuphead: Adventure!
[Brineybeard grabs the cups, throws two knives at a wooden post, hangs the cups on the knives and then walks away while they continue squabbling.]
Cuphead and Mugman: Adventure!/Home! (X7)
Mugman: He's gonna kill us!
Cuphead: Hey, look, mister, we were just looking for a high seas adventure, that's all.
Mugman: It was all his idea!
Brineybeard: Stop squawking and start sniffing!
Parrot:
-Squawk, start sniffing! Start sniffing!
[Mugman and Cuphead sniffs]
[sniffing]
Brineybeard: Smell that?
Mugman: Fear?
Cuphead: Fish guts?
Brineybeard: No! That be the pungent aroma of love.
[Mugman and Cuphead both] Love?
Brineybeard: Soon I shall reunite with me girlfriend, and this time it'll be forever!
Mugman: Gee, uh, what's in the box, mister?
Brineybeard: <i>♪ Thar ♪</i>
<i>-♪ Sweets for me sweet ♪</i>
<i>-♪ Ha, ha ♪</i>
<i>♪ I win her back with treats ♪</i>
Parrot: <i>♪ With treats! ♪</i>
Brineybeard:<i>♪ I need her like this pirate needs</i>
<i>The ship beneath his feet ♪</i>
<i>♪ A man gets lonely by himself</i>
<i>When he's at sea ♪</i>
Parrot: <i>♪ Lost at sea! Lost at sea! ♪</i>
Brineybeard: <i>♪ I've missed her</i>
<i>Since the day she said goodbye ♪</i>
Parrot: <i>♪ Goodbye! ♪</i>
Brineybeard: <i>♪ She made me heart walk the plank</i>
<i>When she left me ♪</i>
<i>♪ If she don't take me back</i>
<i>I'll surely die ♪</i>
Parrot: <i>♪ Squawk! He's gonna cry</i>
<i>He's gonna cry ♪</i>
Brineybeard: No, I ain't!
<i>-♪ I'm bringing sweets for me sweet ♪</i>
Parrot:<i>-♪ Ha, ha ♪</i>
Brineybeard:<i>♪ Sweet treats for her to eat ♪</i>
<i>♪ Of all the creatures</i>
<i>In the deep blue sea ♪</i>
<i>♪ She makes me life complete ♪</i>
[squawks smugly] You're adorable.
Shut up!
Cuphead: Well, sounds like you two have quite the reunion planned.
Mugman: So if you just drop us off at the docks, we'll get out of your hair.
Brineybeard: We ain't turning back till we get me girlfriend back.
Cuphead: Oh, I know! We'll help you get your girl back, and you take us on a high seas adventure.
Mugman: No. He means he'll take us home!
Cuphead: Adventure!
Mugman: Home!
Cuphead: Adventure!
Mugman: Home!
Cuphead: Adventure!
Cuphead: Home!
Brineybeard: If ye do help me get her back, I'll be forever in your debt.
But I'll be honest with ye, our chances of survival are slim to none.
And Slim just drowned.
Cuphead: I like those odds. We're in!
[Mugman mumbles]
Mugman: Cuphead, are you crazy?
Parrot: Squawk! Cuphead's crazy! Cuphead's crazy!
Brineybeard: Prepare for the high seas adventure!
[laughs]
Mugman: Uh, could we make it a medium seas adventure?
Brineybeard: There's no such thing!
[dramatic music playing]
[bell ringing]
[suspenseful music plays as they approach a skull-shaped island, surrounded by remnants of crashed sea vessels]
[birds cawing]
Mugman: I was, uh, picturing less shipwrecks.
Brineybeard, where are we?
Brineybeard: This be where she lives.
Cuphead: Your girlfriend lives on wrecked pirate ships?
Brineybeard: Nay, she feasts on wrecked pirate ships.
She lives in that thar creepy cove.
[Mugman and Cuphead both gulp]
Mugman: Uh, can we go back to wrecked pirate ships for one second?
Brineybeard: Aye, me sweet slaughters all who dare approach.
Mugman: Seems like an important detail you could have mentioned sooner.
Parrot: [squawks] Certain death. Certain death.
Cuphead: Hey, uh, Briney? What's with all the screaming statues?
[Brineybeard laughs]
Brineybeard: They ain't statues, they be pirates.
Turned to stone when they gazed into the eyes of the dreaded sea beast.
[Mugman and Cuphead both] "Dreaded sea beast"?
Mugman: This is the first I've heard of a dreaded sea beast!
Brineybeard: Nay! I told you from the start, we're going to find me love.
Mugman: You're in love with a dreaded sea beast?
Cuphead: Yuck! Keep that mushy stuff out of my high seas adventure, will ya?
Brineybeard: [draws sword] Bite your tongue! Or me sword will bite it for ye.
Sword: You can bite it or I can bite it,
but either way it's gon' get bit.
Mugman: Look!
[rumbling]
Brineybeard: [gasps softly] That means she's close!
[The sea creature roars]
-[dramatic menacing music plays]
-[screeches]
[Mugman and Cuphead both scream as they hug each other]
Brineybeard: Me sweet!
[turns to Cuphead and Mugman] Now if you'll excuse me, boys:
this is between a man and the woman he loves.
[Camera shifts to Cala Maria’s perspective: she’s huge.]
[Comparatibly, the tiny Brineybeard jumps and waves his arms]
Cala Maria! Hi!
Down here!
[snakes hissing]
Brineybeard: It's me, Brineybeard!
[Cala Maria stares at his Parrot]
Parrot: [squawks as he turns into stone]
[ominous music plays]
[Cuphead gasps] We gotta get out of here, Briney. Let's go!
Brineybeard: Unhand me! I'll never give up on love.
Mugman: Your love wants you dead!
Brineybeard: Relationships are a series of peaks and valleys.
[gently brushes Mugman and Cuphead both aside]
Now step aside.
[tender music plays]
Brineybeard: Me sweet, I present to ye…
[Cala Maria hisses]
Brineybeard: …a token of me love.
[holds out a big, heart-shaped box]
A symbol of me enduring devotion, me undying affection…
Cala Maria: You talk too much.
[she swims away, leaving a large tidal wave that trembles the ship]
[Mugman and Cuphead both gasp]
[screaming]
[ominous music plays]
[both grunting]
[both scream]
Cuphead: Okay, high seas adventure over, let's get outta here!
Mugman: Agreed!
[Cuphead yelps]
[snaps as Mugman tugs Cuphead by the collar]
[Cuphead exclaims]
Cuphead: Hey!
Mugman: We can't just leave, Cuphead.
[straining]
[grunts]
[sea shanty plays]
Mugman: We promised Briney we'd help him.
Cuphead: So your plan is what?
Convince a dreaded sea beast that a big rock loves her?
You're crazy!
Mugman: Maybe, but I made a promise, and I'm gonna deliver these sweets.
Cuphead: You go in there, and you'll never see Elder Kettle or the cottage ever again.
Mugman: We're never gonna see Kettle or the cottage again anyway.
Cuphead: Well, you're on your own, buddy.
Mugman: What else is new?
[straining]
[marching music plays]
[groans weakly]
[continues straining]
[grunting]
[Mugman choking]
[Cuphead sighs]
Cuphead: Fine, I'll help.
Mugman: Okay! You get the head, and I'll get the legs.
[mysterious music playing]
[both grunting]
Mugman: Ooh, look, a starfish.
Cuphead: Whoa, whoa, whoa!
[Camera zooms into Brineybeard’s frozen state]
[ominous music playing]
Cuphead: [softly] You broke his legs.
Mugman: Uh…
There's always glue.
[coins rattle]
[heroic music playing]
[straining]
Mugman: Ah. Good as new.
Mm.
[Mugman breaks into tears]
Cuphead: Well, he's solid stone now. It's not like he was using 'em.
In fact, this might be a good time to call it a day.
[Cuphead yells as Mugman pulls him hostage again]
Mugman: No way. We can't just leave, Cuphead.
We have a responsibility.
Cuphead: Great.
If we end up eaten or turned to stone, we'll all know whose fault it is.
Mugman: Look, you're the one who wanted a "high seas adventure."
Cuphead: This is no time for the blame game.
Mugman: You started the blame game!
Cuphead: It takes two to blame game!
Mugman: Yeah, and you started it.
[Creature growling]
Cuphead: Who cares who--
Mugman: Is it… her?
[Creature roars]
Cuphead: It's just a giant crab monster.
Mugman: Oh, is that all?
[Mugman and Cuphead both] Giant crab monster!
[Mugman and Cuphead both scream]
[creature roars]
[Mugman and Cuphead both screaming]
[screaming]
Mugman: [Sees that the crab monster stole Brineybeard’s gift]
Hey! Those aren't for you!
[Large crab hisses]
Mugman: [unsheathes sword] Give me back those sweets!
[swashbuckling music plays]
En garde!
[creature roars]
[Mugman yells and grunts]
[Crab’s sword splashes away]
[creature gasps]
[gasps]
[toes twinkling]
[heroic music playing]
[fabric tears: Mugman rips his shorts]
[sword clatters as he holds them up]
[Cuphead exclaims and grunts]
Mugman: Shh.
[classical music playing from cave]
Cala Maria:
<i>♪ My father was a sailor</i>
<i>My mother was a fish ♪</i>
<i>♪ Since I was little girl</i>
<i>I've only had one wish ♪</i>
<i>♪ A tiny dream belonged to me ♪</i>
<i>♪ To be known across the seven seas ♪</i>
<i>♪ I started small but my ambition grew ♪</i>
<i>♪ And now I'm known</i>
<i>Across the ocean blue ♪</i>
<i>♪ All my life what I wanted to be ♪</i>
<i>♪ The fiercest monster</i>
<i>In the deep blue sea ♪</i>
<i>♪ It's a lonely life ♪</i>
<i>♪ But the only life ♪</i>
<i>♪ I would ever want for me ♪</i>
<i>♪ But I've come so far</i>
<i>And now I'm a star ♪</i>
<i>♪ And everyone knows me ♪</i>
<i>♪ Yes, I am number one sea beast ♪</i>
[hissing]
<i>♪ I am the Cala Maria ♪</i>
[Mugman applauds]
Mugman: Wow, you have a beautiful voice.
Cuphead: [giggles] Hi, Miss Cala Maria, ma'am.
My name is--
Cala Maria: Dinner. Your name is dinner.
Cuphead: Actually, my name is…
Oh. You're going to eat us.
[ominous music plays]
Mugman:
Well, if you're gonna eat us,
then I'm gonna tell you why we came here.
[Mugman groans as he holds up Brineybeard]
This stone loves you.
Cuphead: Yeah. It's love on the rocks. [laughs]
[taps]
Get it?
Mugman: Not helping.
Cala Maria: Kid, I don't have the slightest idea what you are talking about.
Mugman: [Holds up the gift box for her to see]
Look, he even brought this for you.
[romantic music plays]
Cala Maria: A gift? Wow. No one has ever given me a gift before.
What is it?
Mugman:
See for yourself!
[ship's horn bellows]
[Mugman sniffs]
Ugh! I'm so sorry. [chuckles] I thought they were sweets.
Cala Maria: They are! Oh! He even brought my favorite: squid livers.
Mm. Mmm!
[Mugman and Cuphead both groan in disgust]
Cala Maria: Mm, mm, mm! Mm, what a sweet gesture.
Too bad I turned him into stone.
Now, where were we? Ah, yes.
[roars]
[hisses]
[Mugman and Cuphead both whimpering]
[energy pulsing, which breaks Brineybeard’s frozen form]
[squawks]
Brineybeard: [stumbles on his peg legs] Whoa! Oh!
[groans as he falls]
[Brineybeard gasps]
Hey, these ain't me legs!
[Mugman whimpers]
Mugman: [wailing] I'm sorry!
I dropped you and shattered your legs. I'm a terrible person!
Brineybeard: Are ya kidding? Most pirates have one peg leg, and I gots two!
[laughs as he jumps back up]
Argh.
Mugman:
Phew!
Cala Maria: No one has ever un-stoned themselves before.
Brineybeard:
It's 'cause I love you, baby.
[freezes him again]
Cala Maria: Don't call me baby.
[energy pulses as he turns back]
Brineybeard: Understood.
Cala Maria: I'm sorry, what was your name again?
Brineybeard: Why, it's me, Brineybeard.
Parrot: Brineybeard! Brineybeard! [squawks]
Cala Maria: Hmm. Sorry, doesn't ring a bell.
Brineybeard: Brineybeard! We went on a date, I took ye to that Italian joint,
we had the seafood pasta, and for dessert, we had…
Cala Maria: Tiramisu…
Brineybeard: Yes! So I came all this way to ask ye.
Would ye be me girlfriend?
Cala Maria: Look, Briney, you're a nice guy. But for me, my career comes first.
Brineybeard: But--
Cala Maria: Romance isn't in the cards right now.
Brineybeard: But--
Cala Maria: It could never work between us.
Brineybeard: But--
[shell cracking]
[Cuphead screams]
Cala Maria: In fact, I planned to eat you on our first date.
But I filled up on tiramisu.
Brineybeard: Would ye at least think about being me girlfriend?
Maybe down the road?
Cala Maria: Oh, sweet, sweet Briney. You are a charmer.
But I'm afraid I must eat you and your crew now.
Ah, how about I give you
a ten-second head start though?
Cuphead: [panting] What did she say?
Mugman: [sighs wistfully] Aw, she said she was gonna eat us.
Cuphead: Oh.
[Mugman and Cuphead both] Eat us?
[dramatic music plays as they flee]
Parrot: [squawks] Run for your lives! Run for your lives!
Mugman: Run!
[all screaming]
Cuphead: Look, there's the ship!
Mugman: Hurry!
[Cala Maria roaring]
Cuphead:
We'll never escape!
Brineybeard: [admiringly] She's so good at what she does.
Cuphead: Hey, lady! You want this?
[Cala Maria gasps] My sweets!
Cuphead:
Then go get it!
[she gasps as she swims after the box]
Mugman: Come on!
Cala Maria: Mmm! So tasty. Mm, mm, mm!
Mugman: No, no, no, no, no! We're stuck on the rocks!
Cuphead:
What're we gonna do?
Parrot: [squawks] We're gonna die. We're gonna die.
Brineybeard: [watches her eat in awe] Aw! Exquisite.
Cala Maria: Mm.
[romantic music plays]
[blows a kiss at Brineybeard, causing him and his ship to be blown away]
[Brineybeard gasps as the ship traverses at a rapid acceleration]
[Brineybeard] Whoa!
Brineybeard: Mugman, thank ye. Ye came through on a promise to a pirate.
Know what that makes ye?
Mugman: What?
Brineybeard: A real pirate!
Mugman: Ya hear that, Cuphead? I'm a real pirate!
Cuphead: Whoa! Whoa--
[screams as he loses the grip of the ship]
[splashes away into water]
Mugman: Well, looks like he finally got
his high seas adventure!
[Brineybeard and Mugman both laughing]
[closing theme music playing]